Coco, over the years I have many times had the same sort of dream, either I am giving the prayer at the meeting but I’m no longer a believer, or I am out in field service and spouting the JW party line but guiltily conscious of knowing that it’s a load of rubbish. In real life I escaped the Borg before I felt pressured to do these things.
But may I tell you about a vivid dream I had at the time I was waking up from the JW delusion:
I was walking along a country lane late one evening and came to the gap in a well trimmed hedgerow which was the entrance to a field. Instead of a proper gate there was a thin pole across the opening and two men guarding the entrance. There was a bonfire in the field surrounded by people but to my horror a man was being held by his outstretched arms and legs by four others and he was being roasted as it were over the fire. I shouted for them to stop what they were doing and the two guards immediately came together and quietly explained, in the manner of JWs justifying some other Biblical madness, that it was quite alright because the man who was being scorched was happy to have it done to him.
This was nearly thirty years ago but the dream meaning was clear to me then; that a JW colludes with the organisation to be a dumb servant and actually enjoys suffering because privately it confirms his subordinate role and gives a clear definition of his or her faith and the relationship to the organisation......or make of it what you will.